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CC Audio- Tip 2: Oversteps


Welcome to another episode of Me Speaking- Communicating Consciously. This is Leila. I’m your host, giving you a series of communication tips that I’ve learned ALWAYS work.

My tips come from years of self improvement and dedicated interest in this topic. One of the most important things I’ve learned is that we use more than words when communicating consciously. 

We all know what that means… don’t we?

In today’s episode, we will be learning about what I tend to call “oversteps”.

Oversteps are when we say something about the other person that may or may not be true. It’s when you tell the other person what you think he or she thinks, feels, or should do and because of this, you undermine communication.

Would you like it if someone came over to your house, entered without asking and rearranged your furniture? Their intention might have been to please you, but you didn’t want your furniture rearranged. Oversteps are the crossing of non physical boundaries in the same way the person who rearranged your furniture crossed a physical boundary by entering your home without receiving your permission.

A great way to avoid this is to have insight- and focus on the importance of information flow.

Insight is when you take a moment before speaking, so that you can have a better understanding of your thoughts before you decide what to say. This insight can be used on the outside as well, in the form of asking questions.

“Sit here next to me!”….

Something as innocent as telling someone where to sit can become an overstep, if that person had already planned or thought of sitting somewhere else, they would now be in a slightly uncomfortable situation.

Rather than create this type of innocent and unnecessary conflict, you can open the door to information flow and communication.

With a bit of insight you’d be more likely to say something along the lines of “How would you feel about sitting here next to me?”

There’s a big difference in how that conversation can turn out, how each person will end up feeling, and if what each of you desires will actually happen.

The trick to remember here is: Talk about yourself… Ask about the other.

Questions that start with How or What often lead us to the right path when it comes to getting insight from the other person (or people).

So the point here is:

Never assume you know what others are thinking, wanting, feeling or needing, and DEFINITELY try not to tell people what to do. These are oversteps.

Thanks for listening and feel free to check out episodes and articles from the other sections of Me Speaking.

In the next episodes of me speaking-conscious communication we’ll discover some more enlightening techniques and tips that can lead us all in the right direction.

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